Shattered Mind ATE's
by Krimson Rogue
Summary: Just a collection of random stories set after certain chapters. Sometimes takes away from the normal stream of things for a more "unique" set of stories. Latest story set after chapter 24 of Anger.
1. Zidane, the Chocobo and the Fire

It had been a while since the group had settled down for the day

Disclaimer- I don't own the Final Fantasy characters in this story.

-Set after Shattered Mind: Anger Chapter 2-

Zidane, the Chocobo and the Fire

It had been a while since the group had settled down for the day. Vivi had already fallen asleep and Trevor and Freya were busy talking while setting up the tent. That left Zidane to make the fire so they could cook dinner. The problem was, they were in the middle of the plains, and plains are often devoid of trees or wood, making Zidane's job far harder.

"Why did I get stuck with this?" he muttered under his breath. He had gathered a few bits of grass and some twigs, but it wasn't really enough to make a fire with. Zidane scratched his head, wondering what he could do to get the fire going and keep it going.

It was only a few seconds until he noticed that Choco was only a few feet away from him, sleeping. Zidane looked at Vivi, who was also asleep, then Freya and Trevor, who were just talking to each other while sitting next to the tent. If he was careful, and as a thief, he had to be, he could get a little extra kindling.

He reached out to the big bird and grabbed a handful of feathers. He didn't know how well they would burn, but it was all that they had. He gave the few feathers he had a quick yank-

'KWEEEEHHHH!!"

"Oh crap."

Vivi, Freya and Trevor turned quickly to the cry of surprise, only to see Choco taking swift revenge against Zidane by repeatedly headbutting him.

"Ow! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Zidane called out. "Geez, take it easy Choco!"

"Well, there goes the serenity," Trevor pointed out as Choco continued to assault Zidane.


	2. Delores' Observation

Disclaimer- I don't own the Final Fantasy characters in this story

Disclaimer- I don't own the Final Fantasy characters in this story.

-Set after Chapter 5 of Shattered Mind: Anger-

ATE 2- Delores' Observation

--

The Red Rose hung in the air, waiting for the perfect time to strike. The soldiers aboard stirred tirelessly, waiting for something to happen to open up Cleyra's defenses. The mysterious wizard that was Kuja said that he would find a way in. Still, it didn't do well for the soldiers as they waited just at the border between Alexandria and Burmecia.

Captain William Delores was one of them.

He passed back and forth as the sun set in the west. His troops continued to talk of battle and how well they were going to do. Delores thought it boorish of them, but made no comment. His thoughts dealt more with how Alexandria was going to get into Cleyra. Warping down and invading from the top of the city would attract too much attention, leading to unneeded casualties among his troops. Going in through the sand storm was too dangerous because of the monsters and barrier that the sand storm created.

Delores walked out to the side deck and looked out over the terrain. Only the Black Mages were present outside the cabins, out in the chilling air. Either they didn't notice the cold winds, or they didn't care. Delores was not above admitting that he didn't like them—in fact, he found their presence unsettling—but as they were under his and Beatrix's commands, he had little to worry about.

Delores picked up a telescope hanging from the railing and gazed through it into the distance. Out of the edge of the world, he could see the top of Cleyra sticking out of the mist. Its leafy green top stood out, surrounded by a massive tornado of sand.

"When will you lower your defenses?" he pondered aloud. "The second you do, we will take you."

Almost as if his words had power in themselves, something happened. Delores kept his gaze on Cleyra as the tornado shot out several blue lights which shot into the sand and swirled around in the opposite direction. The lights swam around the tornado, taking down the tornado as it went. Within seconds, the sand storm was no more.

Delores watched in silent delight. Whether or not Kuja was responsible didn't matter. This is what he had been waiting for. Delores checked through his telescope once again to make sure he wasn't imagining things.

"This is wonderful!" he said. "We must make preparations to land at once! We'll take them down before they have a chance to defend themselves!"

"But I'm tiiiiired," one of the Black Mages whined.

"And it's dark out!" said another.

Delores' forehead wrinkled as the Black Mages complained. "Well get over it and…wait, did you two just talk?"

The Black Mages' eyes widened as they glanced at each other, then back at Delores. "Um… Kill?"

"Yes…KILL!!"

Delores blinked a few times before deciding that he had just imagined the whole thing. "Whatever, we'll just attack at dawn."

"Yippee skippy!" the Black Mages chanted excitedly.

Delores glared angrily at the Black Mages for a moment before they both quieted down sheepishly.

"…Kill." They both chanted blandly.

"That's better."


	3. 4 Funerals and a Wedding

Disclaimer- I don't own any of the Final Fantasy characters in this story. And as a second disclaimer so that no one misreads and is offended, I'm not anti-gay marriage. :P

Author notes: I came up with this on a sugar high. Don't flame me or my weirdness. And you might want to take a moment to thank god/mourn the fact, that I don't write crack fics anymore.

Oh, and this is one of the weirdest things I've ever written (and that says A LOT. Just look at Naruto vs the Narrator), so if you can't fully understand it, you haven't fallen to my level of depravity. Congrats. :D

Alternate Time Event, Chapter 3- 4 Funerals and a Wedding

----------------

Trevor was going to kill Zidane. That much was true. How he had gotten onto the boat in the middle of Conde Petie was now a mystery.

The head priest was standing on his platform, reading off his book.

"...Have the strength to cairry ye through the trials..."

Trevor wasn't listening anymore. There was too much blood rushing through his ears and face. All he could hear was his heartbeat pounding away, blocking out everything else and fueling his thoughts of revenge.

The priest continued to read. "...An' the wisdom tae follow the path..."

Quina was standing next to him, looking oddly content for the situation. He probably wasn't aware of what was going on, or what marriage really was.

"May the blessin's o' heaven be upon this man an' woman!" the priest concluded.

Quina turned to Trevor with a happy smile. "I… so happy…" he said.

"NO! HELL NO!!!" Trevor decided. "THIS ISN'T HAPPENING! STOP READING RIGHT NOW!"

Wait, Trevor, stop! You're breaking the fourth wall!

"That's not all I'm breaking!"

Trevor leapt from the story, through your computer screen and into your house. He then used a neuralizer from the movie _Men in Black_ to erase your memories so that you forgot that you ever read this. It never happened and you make now begin ignoring it forever.

"Not done yet!" Trevor said. He leapt back into your computer screen and jumped out of my laptop—hey! Waitaminut—

…

…

…

Ok, now that I've taken over the story, there's gonna be some changes. No more of these damn cliffhangers or my borderline schizophrenia. Let's have something a little better…

I walked out of Conde Petie, having not taken part in any fake marriages. An airship full of hot beauty queens, all aged 18-22, flew in and picked me up.

"You're cute," the beauty queens all agreed.

"'Yes, I know," I said. And then we all had sex and they took me away, but not before dropping Krimson Rogue's corpse off in the middle of a desert where he would be eaten by wild animals like he so deserved. And you know he does.

"So the moral of the story is: don't write gay marriage scenes of your OCs, because they WILL come through the computer screen and murder you."

(Brought to you by the Society of Crack Fic Writers who don't use gay pairings except as a bizarre plot device to mess with people)


	4. Get This Thing Offa Me!

Disclaimer- I don't own any of the Final Fantasy characters in this story.

Author's notes: This was just a special request by Aleks the Lighthearted. He wanted something to happen to Eiko, and since I couldn't find a place to put it in the final chapter of Anger, I decided to make it an ATE. :D

Further ATE goofiness can be created upon request.

**This chapter takes place after chapter 24 of Shattered Mind: Anger.**

Shattered Mind ATE chapter 4- Get This Thing Offa Me!!!

----------------

The voyage had been going well. The World Heroes, as Trevor seemed to jokingly call their cadre, had been sailing for three days and nights. The going was slow, and it wasn't until the fourth day that the Outer Continent disappeared from sight.

Zidane had done well learning how to pilot their small ship, which he had renamed the _Tantalus II_. Trevor had found some maps and took over as navigator while Amarant did all the heavy lifting, pulling on ropes, adjusting sails and moving supplies.

Dagger mostly kept to herself, still mourning her mother's loss. She had been doing better as the days progressed, but still preferred isolation at the side of the ship as she watched the waves. Vivi, who was prone to motion sickness, just stayed in the underbelly of the ship, praying that he wouldn't throw up.

Eiko, however, was a bit more curious. She had never been this far from the village before, and even though Maiden Sari had a boat in its dock, she had never been sailing. Everything about it fascinated her as she explored and ran around every inch of the boat daily. It more than once got on Amarant's nerves and nearly got the little girl thrown overboard.

Still, Eiko was enjoying herself. The weather was nice, the food—although worse than what she normally ate—was decent, and she had plenty of time to talk to Zidane now that Dagger was off on her own.

Also, Queen Brahne's corpse was busy stinking up the top deck.

They had tried many times to move it, but the enormous queen's ridiculously fat ass was far too heavy to move. Even Amarant, who managed all the heavy sails on his own, was unable to make Brahne's body budge. Worst of all, it had been cooking in the open sunlight for several days and was starting to smell like a slow day in a manure factory.

Naturally, Eiko was curious about it and repeatedly poked Brahne with a stick when Dagger wasn't looking.

"My grandpa said people go up to heaven when they die," Eiko said to Amarant while he was working. "Is that what you think happened to this lady?" She gave Brahne another quick jab.

"Hell if I care," Amarant replied.

"I mean, she was evil, but Dagger says she was really nice before. Would she go to heaven then? Or maybe there's some other place people can go to."

"I really don't care kid."

"Well, maybe she was really nice before, but then her evil made it so she couldn't get into heaven."

"Shut up."

"Oh! Or maybe she had to spend time in heaven, but then had to go someplace bad. It could be like she had to move every week or so and spend time in both places!"

"Shut up!"

"But that would get confusing. What if she got her days mixed up? Does she get to have do-overs?"

"Why don't you ever shut up?"

"Hey Amarant?"

"WHAT?!?!"

"Are all the queens from the Mist Continent this big and squishy?"

"…"

"Does that mean Dagger's going to be big and squishy?"

"That's it. I'm killing myself." Amarant took the rope he was holding and began to tie a noose.

"Amarant!" Trevor suddenly yelled from the cabin. "Big wave coming! Hang on to something!"

Amarant looked ahead and saw the wave coming straight at them. It was large enough to rock the boat pretty hard. He grabbed onto the railing of the ship and held on tightly.

Eiko, however, had been far too busy wondering about how queens ate to hear the warning. The ship rocked up one way, then quickly snapped up as it cleared the rough water. It snapped so hard that Eiko lost her footing and landed face first onto the deck.

Even worse, the wave was capable of moving the dead queen's corpse. It rolled over once and landed on poor little Eiko. The little summoner was trapped under the mound of rotting flesh and desperately screamed for help, but it came out as little more than a whimper. The smell was atrocious and she couldn't breath with the queen's five hundred pound frame crushing her little body. All she could do was kick her legs like a midget trapped under an elephant.

"Ahh… finally some quiet," Amarant said as he went back to work.


End file.
